Duel of Abuse ~ Round Xn2

(Déjà vu characters from 424 BC ~ courtesy of ARISTOPHANES^[1] with some minor name changes for the sake of clarity.)

[A Duel of Economic Ideologies (including personalities): continued from the previous two posts.]

SAUSAGE-SELLER. The story is worth hearing. Listen! From here I rushed straight to the Senate, right in the track of this man; he was already letting loose the storm, unchaining the lightning, crushing the Knights beneath huge mountains of calumnies heaped together and having all the air of truth; he called you conspirators and his lies caught root like weeds in every mind; dark were the looks on every side and brows were knitted. When I saw that the Senate listened to him favourably and was being tricked by his imposture, I said to myself, "Come, gods of rascals and braggarts, gods of all fools, toad-eaters and braggarts and thou, market-place, where I was bred from my earliest days, give me unbridled audacity, an untiring chatter and a shameless voice." … then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my back, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the War broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!" All faces brightened at once and I was voted a chaplet for my good tidings; and I added, "With a couple of words I will reveal to you, how you can have quantities of anchovies for an obol; 'tis to seize on all the dishes the merchants have." With mouths gaping with admiration, they applauded me. However, [Clecon] winded the matter and, well knowing the sort of language which pleases the Senate best, said, "Friends, I am resolved to offer one hundred oxen to the goddess in recognition of this happy event." The Senate at once veered to his side. So when I saw myself defeated by this ox filth, I outbade the fellow, crying, "Two hundred!" And beyond this I moved, that a vow be made to Diana of a thousand goats if the next day anchovies should only be worth an obol a hundred. And the Senate looked towards me again. The other, stunned with the blow, grew delirious in his speech, and at last the … guards dragged him out. The Senators then stood talking noisily about the anchovies. [Clecon], however, begged them to listen to the [foreign] envoy, who had come to make proposals of peace; but all with one accord, cried, "'Tis certainly not the moment to think of peace now! If anchovies are so cheap, what need have we of peace? Let the war take its course!" And with loud shouts they demanded that the [Judges] should close the sitting and then leapt over the rails in all directions. As for me, I slipped away to buy all the coriander seed and leeks there were on the market and gave it to them gratis as seasoning for their anchovies. 'Twas marvellous! They loaded me with praises and caresses; thus I conquered the Senate with an obol's worth of leeks, and here I am.
…
[CLECON]. I will haul you before Demos, who will mete out justice to you.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. And I too will drag you before him and belch forth more calumnies than you.
[CLECON]. Why, poor fool, he does not believe you, whereas I play with him at will.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. So that Demos is your property, your contemptible creature.
[CLECON]. 'Tis because I know the dishes that please him.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. And these are little mouthfuls, which you serve to him like a clever nurse. You chew the pieces and place some in small quantities in his mouth, while you swallow three parts yourself.
…
[CLECON]. Hah! my friend, you tricked me at the Senate, but have a care! Let us go before Demos.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. That's easily done; come, let's along without delay.

[To be continued.]

[2012 Study Questions: Who/What is our “Clecon”? Who/What is our Sausage-Seller? Who is our Demos?]

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[1] “Duel of Abuse” comes from p. 14 (CHORUS) of Aristophanes' (circa 444 –385 BC) play, “The Knights,” from The Eleven Comedies, Volume 1, Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition, 2005-08-01. The text of this post is from pp. 16-18 as condensed (with minor updates in [ ]) by SMS.

Duel of Abuse ~ Round Xn1

(Déjà vu characters from 424 BC ~ courtesy of ARISTOPHANES^[1] with some names slightly amended for clarity.)

 In the last post, Dimisthenes asks, “Who will get us out of this mess?” And who should promptly show up but a sausage-seller! He is swiftly recruited to the cause. What follows is an Aristophian distillation of mankind’s perennial conflict—one we have endured in recent Republican “debates” and will yet endure, more intensely, in anticipated Rep & Dem ones.

At core, we have a duel of economic ideologies, which, in analysis (and in Artistophanes), are more alike in practice than not. Dimisthenes and the CHORUS of Knights (or the Benighted, as the case may be!) root for the Sausage-Seller.

SAUSAGE-SELLER. The oracles of the gods summon me! Faith! I do not at all understand how I can be capable of governing the people.
[DIMISTHENES]. Nothing simpler. Continue your trade. Mix and knead together all the state business as you do for your sausages. To win the people, always cook them some savoury that pleases them. Besides, you possess all the attributes of a demagogue; a screeching, horrible voice, a perverse, cross-grained nature and the language of the market-place. In you all is united which is needful for governing. The oracles are in your favour, even including that of [Phila]Delphi[a]. Come, take a chaplet [garland or wreath for the head], offer a libation to the god of Stupidity and take care to fight vigorously.
 SAUSAGE-SELLER. Who will be my ally? for the rich fear [the present demagogue, Clecon] and the poor shudder at the sight of him.
 [DIMISTHENES]. You will have a thousand brave Knights who detest him, on your side; also the honest citizens amongst the spectators, those who are men of brave hearts, and finally myself and the god [of the market-place]. Fear not, … the public have wit enough to recognize him.

[Then the demagogue CLECON arrives.]
[NOTE: Our twenty-first century words may be gold-plated, but in essence, can we not hear clear echoes of Aristophanes?!]

[CLECON]. I denounce this fellow; he has had tasty stews exported from [America] for the [enemies’] fleet.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. And I denounce him, who runs into the [public trust] with empty belly and comes out with it full.
[CLECON]. You are travelling the right road to get killed.
…
SAUSAGE-SELLER. I will baffle your machinations.
[CLECON]. Dare to look me in the face!
SAUSAGE-SELLER. I too was brought up in the market-place.
[CLECON]. I will cut you to shreds if you whisper a word.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. I will daub you with dung if you open your mouth.
[CLECON]. I own I am a thief; do you admit yourself another.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. By our Hermes of the market-place, if caught in the act, why, I perjure myself before those who saw me.
[CLECON]. These are my own special tricks. I will denounce you to the [Judges] as the owner of sacred tripe, that has not paid tithe [or taxes].
…
SAUSAGE-SELLER. Just hear what sort of fellow that fine citizen is.
[CLECON]. Will you not let me speak?
SAUSAGE-SELLER. Assuredly not, for I also am a sad rascal. …
[CLECON]. Once more, will you not let me speak?
SAUSAGE-SELLER. No, by Zeus!
[CLECON]. Yes, by Zeus, but you shall!
SAUSAGE-SELLER. No, by Posidon! We will fight first to see who shall speak first.
…
[CLECON]. I will rush into the Senate and set them all by the ears.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. And I will lug out your gut to stuff like a sausage.
[CLECON]. As for me, I will seize you by the rump and hurl you head foremost through the door.
…
SAUSAGE-SELLER. I denounce you for cowardice.
[CLECON]. I will tan your hide.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. I will flay you and make a thief's pouch with the skin.
[CLECON]. I will peg you out on the ground.
…
SAUSAGE-SELLER. … he has only made himself a name by reaping another's harvest; and now he has tied up the ears he gathered over there, he lets them dry and seeks to sell them.
…
[CLECON]. I will bring four suits against you, each of one hundred talents.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. And I twenty against you for shirking duty and more than a thousand for robbery.
…
[CLECON]. You are an impostor.
SAUSAGE-SELLER. And you are a rogue.

 [And so on and on!]

TO BE CONTINUED: Round Xⁿ².

[2012 Study Questions: Who/What is “Clecon”? Who/What is Dimisthenes? Who/What is the Sausage-Seller? Who are the CHORUS of Knights?]

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 [1] “Duel of Abuse” comes from p. 14 (CHORUS) of Aristophanes' (circa 444 –385 BC) play, “The Knights,” from The Eleven Comedies, Volume 1, Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition, 2005-08-01. The text of this post is from pp. 8-13 as condensed (with minor changes and updates in [ ]) by SMS.

Duel of Abuse 2012 ~ Prologue

(Déjà vu characters from 424 BC ~ courtesy of ARISTOPHANES^[1] with some names slightly amended for clarity.)

[DIMISTHENES:] I will begin then. We have a very brutal master, a perfect glutton for bean[counting], and most bad-tempered; 'tis Demos of [DC], an intolerable old man and half deaf. The beginning of last month he bought a [sidekick], a … tanner [called, “Clecon”], an arrant rogue, the incarnation of calumny. This man of leather knows his old master thoroughly; he plays the fawning cur, flatters, cajoles; wheedles, and dupes him at will with little scraps of leavings, which he allows him to get. "Dear Demos," he will say, "try a single case and you will have done enough; then take your bath, eat, swallow and devour; here are three [more profit points]." Then [this Clecon] filches from one of us what we have prepared and makes a present of it to our old man. T'other day I had just kneaded a Spartan cake …; the cunning rogue came behind my back, sneaked it and offered the cake, which was my invention, in his own name. He keeps us at a distance and suffers none but himself to wait upon the master; when Demos is dining, he keeps close to his side with a thong in his hand and puts the orators to flight. He keeps singing oracles to him, so that the old man now thinks of nothing but the [futures]. Then, when he sees him thoroughly obfuscated, he uses all his cunning and piles up lies and calumnies against the household; then we are scourged and [Clecon] runs about among the slaves to demand contributions with threats and gathers 'em in with both hands. He will say, "You see how I have had [upstarts] beaten! Either content me or die at once!" We are forced to give, for else the old man tramples on us and makes us spew forth all our body contains. There must be an end to it, friend. Let us see! what can be done? Who will get us out of this mess?

[2012 Study Questions: Who/What is Dimisthenes? Who/What is Demos? Who/What is Clecon? Hint: perhaps begin with the recent Republican primaries; and/or economic theories.]

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[1] “Duel of Abuse” comes from p. 14 (CHORUS) of Aristophanes' (circa 444 –385 BC)  play, “The Knights,” from The Eleven Comedies, Volume 1, Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition, 2005-08-01. The text of this post is from p. 4 with a 2012 update by SMS.