Friday, March 27, 2009

Neo-Republican* Redbook** (Ideological & Practical Samplings)

*ska, Neo-Cons; **Not to be confused with other Red books.
  • Advertizing: The art of manufacturing desire and producing dissatisfaction, envy, and so forth, all in the greater cause of economic growth and free-market capitalism. A pillar of democracy.
  • American Covert Operations: Secret interventions to promote democratic values and thwart anti-capitalists/corporatists. These are necessarily secret to minimize the loss of American lives, values, and image.
  • Capital Facts: Greed is good; selfishness is a virtue; paper and property have real and speculative value; and God is a free-market capitalist. (Cautionary note: His rhetoric can be deceptively regulatory, but do not be deceived. See Common Good.)
  • CEO Compensation: A means to confer and/or acknowledge prestige and power. Preferably attached to knowledge, expertise, and competence, but not essential. A fundamental of competition. Not to be confused with Efficiency or maximizing profit or Conquest & Plunder.
  • Common Good: A subtle, emotive phrase that is leftist code for Socialism and its more evil sibling.
  • Conquest & Plunder: The most efficient means of acquiring wealth and power. (See Efficiency.) Not to be confused with acquisitions & mergers, takeovers, British Empire (et al.), globalization, Haliburton, Charles Keating, CEO Compensation, Enron, Dot-coms, Abramoff, business subsidies / bailouts, American Covert Operations, and so forth.
  • Cooperation vs. Competition: Cooperation was a Neanderthal necessity, but competition is the name of the greater game where the manufacture of desire (see Advertizing) supplies the demand for manufactured goods.
  • Depression: Rare, commonly recurring, mysterious market-system failure characterized by negative growth (aka, bottomless market), pink-slip employment, low caloric intake, vaporization of financial institutions, and massive adjustments to real value and home ownership. Not associated with Deregulation or Poverty. Potentially eased by bailing out the VIC’s and substituting a Recession. (See Talking Points.) Alternately, the feeling one may have resulting from any of the above.
  • Deregulation: A capital fact that free-market businesses whose bottom line is growth and profit do best without oversight. Not to be faulted for Enron, Freddie or Fannie, Lehman Bros., the 2008-2010 mortgage meltdown, the recent corporate/bank supplicants, the Dot-com-cons, the former S&L problems, etc. And not to be compared to the Constitutional checks and balances mandated for government. (See Public vs. Private.)
  • Efficiency: That which confers maximum return for minimum cost / effort. A pillar of free-market capitalism. No to be confused with Indolence or callousness.
  • Environment: That which surrounds you. Not to be confused with lobbyists. Cleaning up the environment means cleaning up on oil and gas reserves from in or near national parks.
  • Fabrication in pursuit of true conservatism is no vice. Moderation in the denouncement of Liberals is no virtue. (See Public Speaking.)
  • Global Warming: A figment of liberal imagination and a scientific misappropriation of the heat generated by angry liberals. (Not to be confused with the righteous anger generated by Rush Limbaugh, et al.)
  • Indolence: The cause of Poverty. Tendency to be unproductive. Not to be used to explain the differential in production outputs of management and labor.
  • Invisible Hand: Term coined by Adam Smith to explain the competitive market’s intuitive management of goods and services through self-interest. Not to be confused with Bernie Madoff (et al.), CEO Compensation, or vaporization of assets.
  • Litmus test for true Conservatives: God ______ America. God ______ those Liberals.
  • Military Spending: A spiraling growth-industry of destruction segued into reconstruction. To be inflated, conflated, and repeated as necessary.
  • Patriotism: 1) To support all American efforts (overt or covert) for the perceived safety of America, the liberation of all people, and the imposition of American capitalism; 2) To honor military service and sacrifice in all cases—except perhaps during elections, as in such cases as John McCain 2000; Max Clelland 2002, John Kerry 2004, etc.; and 3) To not question Traditional Values.
  • Poverty: Caused by Indolence. Not to be attributed to Conquest & Plunder, medical crisis, layoff, Abramoff/Madoff, Deregulation, Depression, and so forth.
  • Public Speaking: Opportunity to espouse small government and proclaim fiscal conservatism. Not to impact spending practicalities such as earmarks; costs to produce House or Senate majorities; subsidizing deserving VIP’s and VIC’s; appointing loyalists to bureaucratic posts; waging war; running deficits; etc. Also an equal opportunity to ____ those ____ Liberals.
  • Public vs. Private: Government (of the people, by the people, and for the people) is a necessary evil and must be constrained. Free-market structures (of the few, by the few, and for the few) are pillars of democracy and must be allowed to self-regulate all growth and profitizing.
  • Right: There is only one Right, and it is us. Not to be confused with the 4th Crusade or with certain bombastic Reverends.
  • Speculation: 1) Unsubstantiated rumor that Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand, CEO Compensation, hedge funds, derivatives, creative accounting, NASDAQ, the IRS, and the U.S. Tax Code are a volatile mix of this & that, which is not comprehensible by anyone with a PhD in economics; or 2) Short-term massive gains by propheteers of rising (or falling) values, real or imagined—see Depression; or 3) An unproven theory that market bubbles (aka, booms) cause virtual amnesia, leading to unexpected, déjà vu vaporizations (aka, busts).
  • Talking Points: Saying something often enough makes it true—or at least believable, which is close enough. (See Public Speaking.)
  • Traditional Values: Competition, Efficiency, maximized profit, Deregulation, supply & demand, individualism (as to corporate collectives), public virtue, uncompromising loyalty, anti-collectivized-labor, pro-collectivized-capital, growth and consumption, manifest destiny, truth (see Fabrication), certainty, affluence and influence, Patriotism, good reasons, and re-election.
  • Transparency: A smokescreen is more transparent than an iron curtain. (See Environment.)
  • U.S. Constitution: A document of uncommon wisdom where WE, THE PEOPLE of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure prosperity to all who merit and deserve it, do uphold these values proclaimed in this Preamble of the Constitution for the United States of America. (See Talking Points.)
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